Answer About Dating Girls!

Today we're covering thins short & sweet! A very simple question, a very simple answer - but one which might not come to mind so easily, we need to hit you over the head with it.

QUESTION (Answer About Dating Girls!)

N.N. wrote:

Hi! I met a girl i while ago and i like her, but she is very shy and uncertain about herself. So how to talk to her? And how to start flirting? I talk with her about school and hobbys, but those kind of subjects are getting really boring after 10 minutes. So how to talk when that happends?

Greets!

ANSWER (Answer About Dating Girls!)

Hi N.,

It sounds like you might be the shy one.

Women very much blend into whatever situation they are put into, so for one guy who treats them a certain way they will act a certain way, for another guy they will act different if he treats her different than the first guy.

You ask "how to start flirting" which means you have not yet even begun to flirt with her, so how do you know she won't flirt back if you flirt with her?

You have to set the tone EARLY in your interactions with new women, otherwise the tone will be set for you. And if you set the wrong tone (one that is not amenable to your goals), it's very hard to work against that later on because you may come across incongruent.

You say you've known this girl for a while so chances are shifting gears to flirting may not help, but then again it is not likely to hurt either. So, go ahead and flirt. The worst case scenario is she is unprepared for it and you come across incongruent (different than you acted around her before & so far) and that may cause her to pull back. But so what? Just ask yourself how far you got so far and if the answer is "not very far" or "nowhere" then you have absolutely nothing to lose.

So what I'm saying is perhaps she seems shy to you because that is the way you allowed the tone to be set. Be the man and change the tone and lead the interactions.

If you find that instead of being "shy" and unable to flirt, that she's merely submissive, then you've learned something about her and know that to go further with her you will need to take the dominant role and lead the interactions.

Don't shy away from the actions you need to take.