Confidence is Turning Fear into Courage!

Turning Fear into Courage.

There you are, at the grocery store perusing the cereal isle,

There you are, at the grocery store perusing the cereal isle, when you catch a glimpse of the possible love of your life walk by.

You hesitate putting down the box of "Cap'n Crunch", thinking to yourself "I would love to talk to her" as visions of licking her earlobes and making sweaty love to her dance in your head.

You think for a moment, look at her again from a distance, and start to think about what to do. What is there to do? How are you going to talk to her?

You begin to make yourself nervous and think about how you would feel if she rejected your approach. Your thoughts become negative and filled with fear and even when you try to step forward to say or do something you feel your legs shake a little.

It becomes too much pressure for you, there in your head, and finally as she walks away, to a different isle, out of sight, and you finally find a means to calm and relax yourself. The fear is gone....

Then again, so is the girl, and you and your box of "Cap'n Crunch" are going home alone today, just like every other day.

If you are subscribed to this newsletter then chances are you could relate on some level to the story above... I mean, who doesn't love "Cap'n Crunch"? Seriously, how many times have you seen a girl that you knew you wanted from the first moment you saw her but never had enough nerve to even make the first step of talking to her?

Let us put aside for a moment the topics of how to build attraction or interact with women on dates and focus on one of the things which feels daunting to most men - approaching a girl in the first place, the actual first moment of walking up to her and opening your mouth to say something.

If such moments always make you nervous and hesitant, maybe even fearful, you are not alone. Even men who have dangerous jobs like firefighters, oil drillers, and bridge builders, feel the same fear, as if some soft spoken pretty girl could cause more harm than a blazing inferno, rig explosion, or collapsing metal framework falling on a guy's head.

First let's understand what causes such seemingly illogical fear in the first place.

It is actually is logical, it has a biological purpose.

I could talk about evolutionary psychology for pages, but to keep things simple, just realize that at a certain point, because of our big brains, humans have evolved socially. This means that our biological (not just our social) actions and responses to the world around us, especially with other humans, is conditioned primarily on the evolution of our social behavior.

Many living creatures are also conditioned in this way, but not as nearly as intricately as humans. However, the way our human culture and society has evolved most recently causes direct contradiction to our evolved biology.

We are surrounded by social situations in everyday life that causes certain biological reactions in us that do make sense, but only if we were still living in small tribes, wearing animal skins, and scrawling pictures on walls of caves.

The reason the fear exists is to protect us. But from what?

Turning Fear into Courage. Turning Fear into Courage. Turning Fear into Courage.